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Exit january come feb.

Now today has been a day i have
been waiting for since last year december,i had planned for it so strategicly,its was good day for some of us who get paid after all that hustle of dry january.

So I was paid yesterday and as we talk now im pretty sure i have nothing in my pocket ,how did that happen?

As i can remember,i took a cab-for once,i had money ,so what,then stopped by my favourite fruit vendor-mama mboga whom i call her “mum” for some very genuine reasons,first she calls me son then secondly she never remebers that i owe her money at times i ‘kopa’ her, perfect right?yeah i know.

 So i buy everything in her table she even suspects that i have a girl in my house but i tell her im all alone,she packs all of them from sukuma wiki,carrots,tomatoes and blah blah blah to some very yellowish rooty stem i dont know what its called.

I blasphemise of how january was good to me,how i never got broke – even my ancestors knew that i was as broke as hell, i ask her how much it cost she says 200 shillings but i give her 230,who am i to keep coins.I walk heads up, showing off to the other mama mboga who had once denied to kopesha me mboga ya 5bob the other day.

I walk to the house its just a few distance and thats when i realise i only have 50shilings in my pocket enough to take me to town the following morning,the inner good me, comforts me saying ‘all is well son God knows for tommorow’ but the inner bad me reminds me of the endless shopping list that i had to cater for.

That short intrepersonal conversation takes all my attention and bhang i hit the gate so hard,such times are those times you wish to colide with your landlord so that he notices your full polythene bag(kwani boss iko nini?) you walk as if you’ve just been awarded a tender to supply the government with the SGR locomotives­čśÄ.

I walk towards my door then Alas! Thy queendom comes,this girl who stays next door appears from no where,she is dressed in  leggings and a top she was probably from the gym i presume.I look at her with my molars,she says hi and i hi her back now trigering my polythene to make some noise so that she notices my mega shopping- hell yeah.

“Heeey ibra how are you?” she asks politely “im as good as i dont now what” i shout back

I ask her how she is doing and she says shes is as good as i dont know what- the idiot was using my own words to attack me,anyway.

Lets get out of script for a para let me tell you about her.So this girl just moved in some weeks ago and we bonded like primary kids pap!- i mean what kind of grown ups singal each other when to switch of lights at night? ati you wait for each other then you sleep and you are in different houses same appartment- kiddish right? thats us.

During the hard njanuary times,she never ceased inviting me over for lunch and supper consequently.hehe i mean yesterday,today,tommorow and so on,for a moment i thought i was being too much but i couldnt deny she was so irresistable ,i mean who denies well cooked vegatables over under cooked same veges so dry and salty capable of killing an innocent cat- thats what i cook.

Back to the top,

so her appearence gets me 150% confused ,i wonder weather to put down the bag and hug her or vise verse,she hugs me at long last after that weird conversation.I stare at her not intending to speak anything but the stupid inner me speaks up but it was loud,”so whats for supper”? i asked confidendly.

I dont know if i was to blame the devil for what she answered or my myself,the girl pointed straight at my bag,that steered my confusion and i even got second thoughts of weather i should give her or tell her that its the landlord’s wife who had told me to drop the shopping at her door.Before i answer her hands were in the paper and she claimed that i had bought exatcly what she could cook best..i give it to her ,afterall she had been my saviour so i trusted her.

She walks away and whispers that supper will only take one hour to cook…”i say yes yes see you right there babe” she looks at me with sharp eyes as if to remind me that her name was phoebe.

I was still confused so i just stood at my door looking for my keys with no hopes of getting them when i almost gave up then i realised that i had been holding them all along.

I sat down and started fantosizing how that night was going to be fun,how for once i was going to enter her bedroom and fix her bulb,yes her bulb and ofcourse i thought of how it would be my pleasure to hundle any other business.I undressed and put on my favourite short and a muscle t-shirt(which was actualy oversize) so i had to walk like Rambo at some point i puffed my armpits with  spray and all that took me  one hour exatcly- who am i to miss an appointment.

I walked to her door knocked and waited patiently for her to respond,i stood for  thirty seconds and the good inner me told me to push the door,before i could push the door i noticed that her lights were off,but how?

The bad inner me suggested that may be she had gone to the shop then she’ll be back,so what should i do as a ninja?get in and wait for her,good i was in for the idea.

So i opened the door and headed straight for the socket,it was pure darkness and complete silence i could hear the eco of my hungry stomach.

i switched on the lights,my friends,what i saw at that moment i  wished i was a rock in mars.

The room was empty,she moved out..yes i sat down then up i thought i was in a dream but hey the reality was she was gone.But why? my food? my money.. my…

upto now im still thinking of how im a beberu goat and how im going to hate the watchman for the rest of my feb.

I sat in my house thinking of how i was not,i mean never going accept free offers.

Ever.